Change is good, growth is better.

It pains me to say this but I was really happy earlier today and now I am a little down.  This morning I booked tickets to my sister's graduation and my one month long backpacking tour through Europe.  I was over the moon about exploring, taking photos, vlogging my whole damn journey. I told everyone I just couldn't keep such great news to myself!  I came home and cleaned a little, sat down to check facebook and saw a picture of my friends hanging out without me.  You see, this lady and I had a falling out a few weeks ago.  I snapped at her because she just seems to hate every man I've ever been with and she snapped at me because apparently I'm a judgmental bitch.  I'm not saying either of us was right or wrong but what I do know is that now neither of us are talking.  It's sad really.  Seeing her inviting our friends out to do fun things like hiking or dancing or cooking or all the fun things we used to do together.  facebook has this wonderful feature when you can look at the friendship you've had with someone through pictures and facebook wall posts.  i went to this page trying to find a way to unsubscribe from her on my news feed because the pain of looking at those pictures without me in it was too much.  and as i stalked our history i realized that we had a lot of good times together.  that there was a point in our lives when we were best friends.  saw each other everyday, knew each others deepest secrets.  we were neighbors, roommates, sisters.  and now what are we?  now it seems we're strangers.  i fully believe that people walk in and out of your life and that the people that are meant to stay will always come back no matter how far we stray from each other.  i wonder if we could ever get back to that point.  that point of comfort, when we had each other's backs, when we thought that this friendship could never ever end.  i invited her to superbowl sunday but she already had other plans.  i will continue to invite her out whenever i go do something fun because that's what friends do.  I don't know how long she will exclude me from her life but hopefully not forever.  im excited about my Europe trip and also terrified.  because its really not the places or things or views that make traveling fun.  its' the people.  if you do it right you will meet the most interesting people in your life.  and for a few days you will be best of friends and share a bond that only others who dare venture on their own will share.  and then you will return home and only see their lives through facebook.  and then maybe one day in the distant future you will see them again.  people.  individuals are what make life worth living.  i dont know how this year is gonna roll. so far it's been pretty darn exciting and it's only been a couple months.  all i know is i sense a change coming.  and i feel like by the time 2014 rolls around ill be a whole different woman.  im anxious, scared even to meet her, but im ready. i was born ready. change is good, but growth is better.

Live ur Life,
Victoria Niles