Hey guys! i know its been forever (genuinely because i have absolutely no time at all) but i find myself oddly needing to vent for some reason. it could be because im under a ridiculous amount of stress and i cant seem to allocate any time to "get it off my chest." i am currently in a nuclear medicine technology training program in Palo Alto, CA. People always asks me how i got into nuclear medicine and honestly i can say it was a whirlwind of an adventure. decided last year around chrismast time (as you can see in my previous post) that i no longer wanted to go to medical school or grad school or any other sort of formal higher education. i was just done with all of it. done with the endless nights of studying, the textbooks i never read, the people id have to compete with just to get a passing grade and the cut throat competition that is really just not healthy in an educational environment. but i wasn't ready to go to work yet either. the real world scared me, still does actually. so i was looking for a happy medium...who am i kidding i had no idea what the hell i was looking for i was just shooting bullets into a dark space hoping to hit something...and i did! friend's mom told me to look into being an ultrasound tech that way i can still stay in healthcare in case i decide to go back to med school...looked into it, decided i didnt like it, but this nuc med thing sounded way fun! (it was another program offered at Kaiser so it showed up in the search). applied to a few programs and waited...
spring break comes along and im in new york city with one of the many men i have around the country waiting to date me should i choose to move to their location and i get a phone call. it's my mentor from Hopkins! (i interned there two summers in a row and we developed a bond). she is offering me a job. The Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public fucking Health is saying "[Victoria], if we get the grant you are our first pick for the new research assistant." well ill be damned, maybe my luck is turning around (after such a horrible bad streak at the beginning of college). also while in nyc i interview for a nuc med tech program in new york city and WOOHOO got one of the covetted spots in the class of 2010 on the spot. WTF....went to italy and came back and the lady i worked for during the school year (in a fish lab) says there is a new research assistant job available starting in the summer and that i would be an excellent candidate and that i surely should apply because i have been working in the lab already....ok u have to keep in mind this all happened starting April...April folks....i also find myself getting called back for an interview at this program in palo alto and before u know it im driving up to norcal to impress everyone with my amazingess! june comes around, i miraculously pass all my classes and am left with the decision to turn down some job offers. i decided with Palo Alto, dont ask me why i turned down hopkins it just didnt feel right. looked good on paper, didnt feel right...and the one thing ive learned in college is to go with ur gut because it is instictually always correct. now im left with another problem, moving back home...
now it is just not ok to live at home, what with the 1 hour commute one way and the whole mother thing and how i swore id never be that kid who moved back home after college i was stuck. although the program's tuition was covered by the govnt i had no money to live or pay rent (given my mom doesnt feed me anyway but still). ok then craigslist it is! after a million emails, interviews, dissapointments and sleepless nights i started the program. the first couple weeks were tough, and what was worse is that my mom's 27 year old ex-boyfriend decided to move in with us...and my dad...FML. miraculously i was able to land a job in exchange for rent in a great neighborhood 5 minutes away from the hospital. dont ask me how but with my extremely limited hours i was surprised to find anyone to take me in at all (i think the poor woman pitied me...but ill take it).
its now september and i am still amazed at everything that has happened since ive decided to take control of my life. in fact i can remember almost the exact point in time that happened. i always was the rebellious type and i hated listening to my mom but i always eventually listened...until Cinderella. thats right folks i was in Roger & Hammerstein's Cinderella my senior year in high school. it was the first time i really really really wanted to do something, and even though my mother said no i put myself out on the line (and out of the house) just so i could do something i loved. now given i dont wanna be on broadway but it was extremely liberating to be doing something because i wanted to for a change and not for some alterior motive. ever since then ive started doing things because i wanted to. i went to ucla (not berkeley...mom wanted me to stay close to home..ew), majored in something people told me was too hard and FINISHED in four years on a govnt grant with no student loans mind u..suck on that! studied abroad even though my counselor told me i couldn't. joined a sorority even though mother said it woudlnt be worth it, loved and lost, dated ppl other ppl told me i shouldnt (that was a bad idea) and now im living on my own working 2 jobs (3 if u count tutoring) going to school, acing my quizzes and am working on a case study for a massive presentation this friday. can u believe it. ive done so much since i started living for myself and i realized this...
life is like ridiculously exciting once u start living it. sure its hard and it sucks at times (like when im exhausted and have to come home to scrub toilets) but thats what makes it worth while. because i hear ppl all the time tell me that they are amazed at all the stuff i have done by this age and u know what, i never stop to think and marvel at it myself because im always too busy looking for the next big thing to take on. o and ps im getting better at the dating thing as well..i think..lol who knows there's still time to master that skill.
I am 21 years old (almost 22) and i can say that i have gone through more than what most people have to go through by my age and i am proud to say that i am still here, still kickin (barely) and still loving all of it. i am currently broke, my car is dying, i clean someone elses toilets, and i work like a slave everyday while taking six classes at a time and u know what...i fuckin kick ass at it. so if anyone needs a little inspirational talk, dont hesitate to ask cause as i always say, you'll figure it out just like i did. =)
Life ur Life,
Victoria Niles
